DEPARTMENT

Press Bias

Documenting how mainstream media frames stories, selects narratives, and shapes public perception.

1970s family portrait of smiling parents and two children on a floral couch, with one child having a human-chimpanzee hybrid face in a wood-paneled living room

Penis on the Forehead

Let’s talk about a medical breakthrough that hasn’t happened yet. Imagine a surgeon — board-certified, peer-reviewed, celebrated at conferences — walks into a consultation room and proposes the following procedure: a penile implant. On the forehead. Fully functional in the cosmetic sense. Anatomically correct. Surgically precise. You’re laughing. Of course you are. But here’s the question that should keep you up at night: Why are you laughing? Not rhetorically. Literally. On what medical, ethical, philosophical, or scientific grounds do you find this absurd — while simultaneously finding other body modification procedures not only acceptable, but courageous? Brave? Worthy of a standing ovation at the Oscars? Take your time. We’ll wait. We have nowhere to be. And apparently, neither does medical ethics. The Body Is a Canvas. We Said So. Somewhere in the last two decades, Western medicine quietly abandoned a principle it had held for centuries: first, do no harm. In its place, a new doctrine emerged — one that is never stated plainly, but governs an astonishing range of medical and surgical decisions: The patient’s self-perception is the only standard that matters. Once you accept that premise, the forehead penis isn’t a joke. It’s a logical conclusion. Don’t believe

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A stone human figure dissolving under the force of an incoming signal wave, representing narrative capture and the erosion of independent thought

Narrative Marketing

Narratives are the most powerful marketing products ever created. Luxury brands sell identity; political movements sell grievance. When people are convinced their lives are controlled by external forces, they become loyal customers for outrage, dependency, and perpetual conflict. Data shows those who believe in personal agency are happier, more generous, and more resilient. The real battle isn’t policy—it’s which story people choose to live inside: helplessness or responsibility.

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Illustration of a young climate activist holding a "SAVE THE PLANET" sign while boarding a private jet, with a globe in the background — highlighting the contradiction between environmental messaging and high-carbon behavior.

The Carbon Saint and Her 2.6 Million Plastic Bottles

She shamed the world over plastic bottles—then flew 12,000 miles to say it again. Her trip burned enough energy to produce 2.6 million of them. But hey, she reused her hotel towels. #HypocrisyFiles Tweet Greta scolded the world over plastic straws, meat consumption, and weekend flights—declaring a planetary emergency that demanded your sacrifice. Then she hopped on a 12,000-mile international speaking tour that consumed enough energy to manufacture 2.6 million plastic bottles. But don’t worry: she reused her hotel towels. This is climate righteousness as performance art—clean optics, dirty fuel. And while Westerners are hectored over dinner choices, the real culprits—unchecked industrial waste from South Asia, Sub-Saharan Africa, and Latin America—remain comfortably unmentioned. Because the guilt isn’t about carbon. It’s about control. The Sermon vs. the Schedule Greta’s message was urgent: the planet is on fire, and your lifestyle is the match. No more short flights, no more red meat, and definitely no more single-use plastics. Every decision must serve the cause. But the execution? Different sermon, different standard. She skipped the plastic but boarded planes. She scolded emissions while generating them by the ton. Speaking tours that could’ve been livestreamed became globe-trotting rituals of climate purity. All optics, no

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Man covering face with a cardboard sign that reads "Will anchor for food."

RIP Mainstream Media: Turns Out, Outrage Isn’t a Business Model

The media meltdown is in full swing! Once-glorified anchors—who spent years lecturing America from their multi-million-dollar studios—are now discovering the joys of unemployment. Their next career move? A brave “independent journalism project” no one will read, a podcast nobody asked for, or, if things get really bad, OnlyFans for political commentary. Yesterday, they were sipping soy lattes while preaching about misinformation. Today? They’re filming TikToks under a $15 Amazon ring light, begging for subscribers. Turns out, when your business model is hating the other side, losing your audience is just bad math.

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