Plan B Frenzy, Hairless Heads, and the Great Bedroom Boycott
Liberal women are having a moment—and by moment, we mean full-blown breakdown. Liberal women across the country are really struggling to grapple with Donald Trump’s defeat of Kamala Harris…bigly. Pharmacy shelves are reportedly bare of Plan B, presumably in preparation for a dystopian Handmaid’s Tale sequel now that Trump is preparing to take the Oath of Office a second time.
Apparently, this is the new survivalist strategy among woke women who believe every MAGA hat signals the end of reproductive rights as we know them. Forget canned goods and water filters—this is the feminist prepper’s kit.
Liberal Women Shaving Their Heads To Battle ‘The Patriarchy’
But wait, it gets better. Hair salons are reporting a surge in women requesting buzzcuts—perhaps a nod to Britney Spears’ 2007 breakdown or simply a way to prepare for the “Resistance Underground.” Either way, it’s a statement—albeit one their stylists may never recover from.
“They keep saying they’re shaving off the patriarchy,” said one beleaguered barber in Portland. “I’m just wondering who’s going to pay my therapy bills after this.”
Kamala Harris Supporters Vow Abstinence in Response to Trump ‘Misogyny’
And then there’s the pièce de resistance: mass bedroom boycotts. Yep, women are apparently telling their husbands and boyfriends not to expect any lovin’ for the next four years. To which we imagine many men are responding, “Thanks for saving me the effort of pretending to care about kale chips and yoga.”
Social media has become a battlefield of its own, with liberals posting their woes on TikTok and Instagram. One influencer tearfully explained why she bought ten boxes of Plan B “just in case.” Another proudly flaunted her freshly shaved head, claiming it symbolizes “rebirth” and “breaking free from systemic oppression.” Meanwhile, conservatives are sharing memes about the newfound availability of razors and Tylenol.
As a common-sense possessing conservative, I am still scratching my head over why the liberal gals would need copious amounts of Plan B pills if they weren’t going to be having sex for the next 1,460+ days. Of course, while liberals mourn with buzzed heads and Plan B stockpiles, conservatives are savoring the America-saving win. After all, nothing says unity quite like watching the left implode while the rest of us grab our MAGA hats and get back to work.
The Liberal Inability To Cope With Adversity
The 2024 Trump victory has sent liberal gals into a frenzy and what can only be described as an emotional tailspin. But why? Well, this isn’t just about a loss at the polls—it’s a loss of the ideological bubble they’ve lived in for years.
You see, these women have been marinating in a culture of safe spaces and trigger warnings, where every disagreement feels like an existential threat to their worldview. Public schools and college campuses have coddled them, wrapping them in a cozy blanket of “everyone is special” and “your feelings matter more than facts.” I
It’s no wonder that when the election didn’t go their way, they didn’t just cry into their overpriced lattes—they declared themselves victims of misogyny and patriarchy, even though there was no actual evidence to support these claims about Trump or his supporters. For them, losing isn’t just about policy or politics—it’s a personal attack on their very sense of self.
But here’s the kicker: the very liberal framework that’s left them so ill-equipped to handle a loss is also what fuels their frustration. Instead of learning to engage in civil discourse and respect opposing viewpoints, they’ve been taught to see conservatives as the embodiment of everything evil. Now, faced with a Trump win they didn’t expect, their world feels like it’s crumbling—hence the shaving of heads, hoarding Plan B, and mass emotional meltdowns.
At its core, this isn’t just about one election—it’s about how years of “progressive” education have warped their ability to cope with losing. So, while they’re shaving their heads and stockpiling birth control, we’ll be over here sipping our cheap gas station coffee, thankful for the reminder that some of us were taught how to handle being told “no” and not always getting our way.
Conservatives Laughing All the Way to Inauguration Day
On the flip side, many conservative men are reportedly… unbothered. “She said no more intimacy until Trump is out of office,” laughed one Texan farmer. “I just thanked her for the heads-up and went back to fixing the tractor.”
For others, it’s an opportunity for peaceful evenings spent watching Yellowstone reruns without interruption.
Final Thoughts
The bigger question, though, is: why such dramatic theatrics? Is it genuine outrage, or just a desperate grab for attention? Regardless, the contrast between the two political camps couldn’t be starker. Trump supporters are busy celebrating and planning for the future, while the other side seems intent on turning political defeat into performance art.
Ultimately, this meltdown raises a critical issue: the importance of coping mechanisms. Perhaps instead of buzzcuts and sex boycotts, liberals could try something new, like accepting election results or better yet – joining the winning side. After all, nothing soothes the soul quite like being on a team that knows how to win.
Tara Dodrill is a self-reliance author, educator, and patriot homesteader in Appalachia. She studied journalism at Ohio University and previously served several terms as a town council member in her hometown. Dodrill worked as the editor of her county's newspaper before shifting her focus to writing books and hosting the largest hands-on homesteading, survival, and bushcraft annual event in the United States.
