A Generation That Never Heard “No” Is Now Old Enough to Parent—So What Could Go Wrong?
About 20 years ago, parents ditched discipline in favor of peace talks and participation stickers. The trend? Gentle Parenting—a soft-spoken, boundary-blurred approach to child-rearing where “no” was considered too harsh, time-outs were frowned upon, and consequences were replaced with conversations.
Instead of a utopia filled with emotionally self-regulated, empathetic, well-adjusted children, we’ve ended up with a lot of entitled, fragile young adults who crumble under the weight of even life’s most basic challenges. And as the first wave of the “gentle-parented” generation reaches adulthood, we’re left with a serious question:
How do they plan to raise their kids when they were never really raised themselves?
Participation Trophies Don’t Pay the Bills
Let’s take a quick inventory of what this grand experiment has delivered. We now have 20 somethings who:
- Need a trigger warning before reading Tom Sawyer
- Think “boundaries” mean blocking Grandma on Instagram
- Quit jobs because their manager “wasn’t nice”
- Use words like “traumatizing” to describe being asked to set an alarm
This generation grew up being told they were special just for existing. Feelings trumped facts. Consequences were seen as “cruel” and “outdated.” “No” became a dirty word. Discipline was dismissed as damaging. Authority was viewed as oppressive.
So now, we have adults who struggle to function in the real world—where landlords don’t “validate your emotions,” employers don’t “gently redirect” your behavior, and no one gives you a gold star just for showing up.
And now these folks are having kids?
Enter: FAFO Parenting
As the pendulum of sanity always does, it’s swinging back—and it’s bringing with it the rise of FAFO Parenting. For the uninitiated, “FAFO” is short for “F*** Around and Find Out.”
It’s a modern twist on the age-old concept of natural consequences. And it’s not just a social media trend—it’s a full-on cultural course correction.
Here’s the core philosophy of FAFO Parenting:
- You do dumb stuff? You get dumb consequences. Readers of a certain age are likely nodding along here recalling their dad saying, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes” at some point during their childhood when they made a bad decision.
- You throw a tantrum in Walmart? We leave the store and you get nothing.
- You disrespect a teacher? You get grounded when you get home, not validated and parents rushing to the classroom to blame the teacher for your behavior.
- You forget your lunch? You go hungry. That’s how learning works.
Ah, the resurgence of life lessons is so refreshing. That hard learned truth that actions have consequences served us, our parents, and grandparents far better than getting that cookie before dinner you threw a tantrum to get.
Intentional parenting is not abuse. It’s not trauma. It’s reality. And it’s about time.
Parenting: It’s Not Supposed to Be Easy
Here’s the hard truth gentle parenting advocates avoided like gluten at a liberal ladies luncheon: parenting isn’t supposed to feel good for the parent. It’s supposed to be about raising functional human beings.
That means saying “no” and meaning it. That means having rules and enforcing them. That means your kid might cry—and you don’t automatically rush to soothe them with an iPad and a juice box.
We’re not saying kids shouldn’t be loved or supported. Of course they should. But love without boundaries is not love—it’s neglect dressed up in good intentions.
FAFO: The Return of Common Sense
Let’s be honest: the FAFO mindset isn’t new. Our grandparents had it down pat. They raised kids who:
- Could handle walking to the park all by themselves
- Knew how to shake hands and look people in the eye
- Showed up on time for school and work
- Could change a tire, pay rent, and stand up for themselves
They didn’t need therapy because they lost a soccer game. They didn’t blame their mom because they didn’t get into Yale. They grew up and got on with it.
We don’t need a new parenting revolution—we need a return to basic parenting sanity.
But What Now?
Back to the real question: What does it mean for a society when a generation that never heard “no” is now in charge of raising the next one?
Do they even know how to parent? Or are we about to spiral deeper into a culture of screen-addicted, emotionally hypersensitive, attention-deficient mini-me’s who believe consequences are a form of oppression?
Or maybe—just maybe—some of these new parents are waking up.
Maybe they’re looking around and realizing that the gentle parenting playbook didn’t prepare them for real life, and it sure won’t prepare their kids either.
Maybe they’re discovering that kids actually crave structure. That discipline is not violence. That making your child uncomfortable by holding them accountable isn’t cruelty—it’s kindness.
The Parenting Bottom Line
Gentle parenting meant well. It really did. But it forgot something crucial: kids don’t need you to be their friend—they need you to be their parent.
FAFO Parenting is not about being harsh. It’s about being honest. Life isn’t always fair. You don’t always get what you want. And sometimes the best way to learn is the hard way.
America doesn’t need another generation of bubble-wrapped snowflakes. It needs kids who can think, work, and handle discomfort without melting down and running for a safe space. If we want to raise a generation that can save this country instead of hiding from it, we better start parenting like it.
Because if we don’t…well, they’ll just FAFO.
